Mood Swings

Today I am in a bad mood and the baby is not helping much. I didn't wake up till 10:30!! Wow, how did that happen? and the baby slept that late, too! My back has been hurting for the past week. I think it's from the air bed I sleep on in the baby's room to get away from my husband's snoring. So I woke up late, I am in quite a bit of pain, the baby has been whining and crying all day, I am feeling really blah and yucky, and getting a headache.

I am writing this so I can look back in a few weeks to see how my mood swings were, when they happened and compare it with what was going on at the time. I have had several good days in a row and now I am back down again. I have terrible mood swings. I have moments of energy, where I go for walks in the morning or afternoon, and clean the house and cook big dinners, and then days where all I do is sit in from the the computer or TV and don't want to move.

So here we go, my list of complaints. Today, I slept thru Fajr again, and I missed the chance to fast again. the baby is being picky and not eating and wants me to hold him and carry him around all the time, which is making my sore back hurt worse. I can not eat, I can not even go to the bathroom without him throwing a fit from being put down. This afternoon I had to go into the other room to scream and bang on the wall! I feel so bad about it but I go absolutely crazy sometimes and I have to leave the room so he won't see me getting upset. He would not eat lunch and so I finally got him to snuggle up and go to sleep, but when I put him in his crib he wakes up and cries, he has always done this. Won't sleep unless I hold him the whole time. I have eaten a slice of toast, drank a cup of coffee and a cup of tea so far today, that's it. My diet is stalling, I am losing control of it, it seems, and i am getting discouraged with it. My in-laws are coming in a few weeks and even though I love her, I bitterly keep thinking my mother-in-law is going to say something about my weight. I already know she is going to say a LOT about my husband's weight, which annoys me almost as much as when people talk about mine, because who getsw to hear him complain about it? ME. Tomorrow I am taking the baby to a doctor to get consultation about circumcision, that was not possible when he was born. Don't want to get into that. It has to be done as soon as possible, and the thought of it worries me, of course. My brother is also coming with his family. i am not turning anyone away or bothered by having company, in fact, i would love to have visitors more often, but where is everyone going to sleep?

Stress and annoyance and bitterness and bad diet. I have had these problem for years. I am trying to use my faith and religion to help, and I think it really has, but I still feel I have a long way to go.