Solutions

Been workingon this since Oct. 14...

Bismillah hir Rahman nir Rahim.


Okay baby is sleeping, better hurry.


I think the first thing i should do is make up the fasts that I missed, get that out of the way. this year I missed 8. I went and added up all the fasts I have missed over the past 13 years (gulp gulp) 162 days! I have read some fatawa that says during those years that you were lazy and did not pray or fast, you were out of Islam and you do not necessarily have to make up deeds that you missed, because your repentence is you "return" to Islam. Maybe so, but I still feel the need to make them up, at least the 30 days I missed last year because I had the baby.


But that will take some time. Let's just worry about the 8 days I need to make up this year.


I don't think I will have enough days left in Shawwal to fast the 6 Sunnah days. I did not want to fast while my brother is here. If they were Fard, of course, I would. But these are Sunnah, not Fard, and I had plenty of opportunities to fast before now, so it is my fault that I wasted most of the month. The haddith says that if you fast your month of Ramadan, and then 6 days of Shawwal, it is as if you fasted an entire lifetime. And another says you have to make up your missed Fard fasts before doing Sunnah fasts, so I would have had to do the 8 before the 6. On and on and on....my point is I need to make up my 8 fasts as soon as possible.


InshaAllah fasting will help keep me focused on Islam more. During Ramadan, when I was waking up and staying up, I didn't feel as groggy all day as when I go back to sleep after Fajr. I actually enjoyed getting up early and having an hour or two to myself before the baby woke up. and it seems that when I go back to sleep after Fajr and wake up with the baby, we start the day off in a grumpier mood.


One other thing I have already started working on. NO MORE SLEEPING PILLS!!! I have been taking Tylenol PM for as long as i can remember. Not everyday for years and years, but for long periods of time over the years since i discovered it in college. I have been an insomniac since high school, never could sleep at the right time and when I I could, would sleep as late as 3 or 4:00 in the afternoon. But I was also not able to actually sleep until 8 or 9:00 in the morning, so it's not like I was sleepng up to 15 or so hours. I was just sleeping the average 6 to 8 hours at the wrong time. This really ruins your life, let me tell you. I did terrible in college because of it, can't go to early classes or morning jobs. It's totally miserable. So I hve always taking Tylenol PM (usually a double dose, and at times even a triple dose) and strong coffee in the morning.


Well, for the past three nights I have not taken any sleeping pills. when I take them, it is so hard to get up in the morning and now I have no choice, with the baby waking up around 8:00. And for the past few nights I have not been able to sleep before 1 or 2:00 in the morning, I have slept thru Fajr, don't even remember the alarm going off. I think tonight I will just stay on the couch and turn my alarm louder so i can hear it and get up. At the right time.

Okay, baby throwing a fit now, better go.